Blog

Hi there I’m Tara and I’m here to write and express how my brain works with having a chemical imbalance to tell it best way I can in hopes of it helping someone with same battles or maybe someone understand their loved one a little better

I’ve got my fair share of mental health disadvantages that have lead me to live a life nobody would believe had there not been witnesses to the unlikely unexpected unwanted and unbelievable situations I’ve experienced some where more like surviving a situation others where just experiences

Story time…. Sooo this last yr I was homeless from February till September on the streets not like before where I couch surfed and crashed with friends instead I was sleeping rarely but when I did outside behind abandoned buildings and experiencing some insane things bad situations frfr. Anyway so at one point I rode with this sketchy ass dude my home girl claimed was a good dude and hed pay me to ride with him during his night job driving I like an idiot did it. I also like an idiot didn’t catch on to the real reason he pays girls to roll with him and I wasn’t doing all that shit I’m weird about being touched so sleeping around isn’t exactly my thing anyway so once he pissed me off and set my ass hat mode on full blast I began being so mean to this man and tell him how it was and what a POS he was forced him to take me home before i caused a scene that would land us both in jail only to find out he was apparently some high up gang member to an Asian gang and his parents who I met where like stupid important like people you just don’t disrespect buttttttt that didn’t stop me at all from telling how it was and what their son tried and was over touchy like I was not at all being nice or respectful honestly that’s not like me but he pushed me past my manners and passed my kindness. And y’all these people loaded me up in their car took me home and apologized multiple times for his behavior and I’m complete shock at my behavior and my zero fear of them idk who was more awkward me or them. I got dropped off and my home girl and her sister about shit bc they heard me on the phone when I was telling him off I for some reason still would not change my reaction or any action from that night I know I put myself in a very dangerous situation but I’d do the exact same shit the exact same way if it came down to having to relive that night….

Soooo we ended up in some odd situation a yr ago where the police where involved and there was a stand off now my adopted in baby brother is in prison for doing absolutely nothing to anyone but bc he had a past record they threw his ass right back in there idk why it bothers me so bad but it does I mean fuck sake what does this justice system have to say about anyone who’s either fucked up in the past or has mental illness they just lock them up and throw away the key vs helping them or actually being happy they didn’t do anything instead of looking for a fuck up they may have made or force it to appear like they fucked up when they didn’t bc they used up resources for nothing like well shit sorry boss instead they say fuck that and arrest people bc they have a bad past or mental health it’s easier then saying hey we fucked up and these scared people who refused to come outside and talk to us bc we had guns drawn without knowing the situation was a bull shit call they hid and we waisted money and time now we are gonna make it something serious due to the fact that we don’t wanna look like we fucked up. Ugh I hate the police and they made me distrust them even more if that’s believable seeing how I don’t trust anyone not even myself

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